"Songs of joy and tears of laughter, are all we need, to lift our hearts..."
If your Christmas Day is boring enough that you're downloading a podcast, it'll take more than Russ Abbot in various fat suits to lift your heart. Still, we'll do our best. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Say what you see!"
"Two nearly middle-aged men using a podcast as an excuse to watch old tv shows to relive their youth?"
"Well now I feel sad."
It's Catchphrase.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Our survey said...do more gameshows! So we did. Although we only surveyed two people. And those people were us.
It's Family Fortunes!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"I'm a Tot!"
"Je suis un Tot!"
"Tilly, Tom and Tiny."
"We're the Tots from Tots TV..."
"One, Two, Three..."
"BOO!"
Flat-faced Rose & Jim-type puppets make worrying noises as Martyn and Mark squeeze another episode into a late night recording session when they should have know better.
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A boring educational cartoon disguised as superhero fun. It's only Captain Planet innit? No Don Cheadle though. Wahh.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
David Hamilton plays hangman with a giant keyboard. But no actual hanging man. It was a family show.
It's like Mel Giedroyc's "Letterbox" but a lot more expensive-looking. I mean a TV show called "Letterbox." Not Mel Giedroyc's actual letterbox at her house. I bet that's quite a reasonably-priced looking letterbox.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Put on your bicycle clips and bake a pie made out of songs or dreams or other intangible things. It's Pie In The Sky! No, not that one. The other one.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Imagine spending an hour running away from a man in a helicopter. Sounds exciting doesn't it?
Well it isn't. It bloody isn't.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Can we pretend that we knew this episode was going to be uploaded the week of Halloween, and use the tenuous link that we're watching Creepy Crawlies, a gentle animation about some friendly insects, in an
attempt to be topical?
No? Bloody sod you then.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
It's nearly Halloween, so what better way to celebrate than with a rubbish sitcom about the ghost of a Jewish stereotype? Probably by watching almost literally anything else. But it's done now, so shut up.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Do you like television? Do you like comics? Then you'll hate ZZZap, the television comic.
It's the final part of our Neil Buchanan trilogy. Or "Neil-ogy." No, sorry, was right the first time, it's "trilogy."
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
How much confetti do you think Finders Keepers used in an average day? More than FunHouse? More than ten weddings?
It's a lot of confetti is what I'm saying.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"This is an Art Attack... THIS is an Art Attack... THIS IS ART ATTACK!"
Tiny Neil Buchanan lives in a box of art supplies and communicates to the big people via the medium of Art. And attacking.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Can I buy a vowel?"
"No, because the idea of the game is to guess the words with only the consonants. You fool."
It's Wheel Of Fortune.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
The adventures of C.H.I.P. (Coordinated Hexadecimal Information Processor), S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A. (Solar Activated Micro Automated Non-inTerference Hearing Apparatus) and B.U.G. (Binary Unmanned Gamma camera).
What a load of C.R.A.P. (Completely Rubbish Awful Programme)
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Five.... Four.... Three... Two.... One.... Thunderbirds are go!"
Lady Penelope: "Parker? Please take off my blouse..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, please take off my skirt..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, please take off my stockings..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, please take off my brassiere..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, please take off my knickers..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "And Parker..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "...if I catch you wearing my clothes again you're sacked."
Good joke. Everybody laugh.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Bitsa this, Bitsa that, put it all together and what have you got?"
A ropey make-along-at-home programme where boxes of old rubbish are turned into soon-to-be new rubbish that looks slightly different.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
So there's this cat, see, and his name's James, see, and there are all these other animals, see, and that's all there is to it, see.
And it's quite short, see.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Who likes Yellow Submarine? Anyone? Oh. Well this is a bit like that. With an arguably better theme song.
That's right. I went there.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
What do you get when you cross an educational kids' show about music with inappropriate sexist YouTube comments? A musical ex-tra-va-ganza, that's what.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Brum Brum, Brum Brum Brum, Brum Brum Brum Brum Brum..."
It's Brum.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
You know what I used to love? Batfink.
You know what turned out to be super racist? Batfink.
Because of course it did.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
All aspiring cartoonists should watch Rude Dog and the Dweebs, as inspirational evidence that you don't need artistic talent to get a cartoon made. A clothing logo and some of the worst designed cartoon dogs ever had their own TV show. And we watched it.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Visionaries, Knights of the magical light!"
Remember when toys were covered in holograms? That was good wasn't it? I bet all those hologram stickers have faded now and don't look half as cool any more. That's like a metaphor. A clever metaphor. I done a metaphor.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
What's the best time to watch the Krankies' Christmas special?
a) Christmas Eve
b) Christmas Day
c) July
The correct answer is that you should never watch the Krankies do anything at any time ever.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.