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When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger

When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger is a weekly podcast that watches kids' TV from the eighties and casts a more cynical eye on the shows we used to love. Sometimes funny, usually disappointing, join your hosts Mark and Martyn and ruin a small part of your childhood week by week.
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Now displaying: 2019
Jul 8, 2019

Normally we'd get three short episodes out of three short cartoons. Unfortunately for us, these three cartoons were so awful we barely had enough content for one episode. So be prepared to be depressed by Ludwig, Aubrey and Baron...Moron...Marion Buslachatacher or whatever, and be glad you don't have to put up with three weeks of it.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Jul 1, 2019

How does Carol Vorderman make educational kids' TV fun? How do you keep Gareth "Gaz Top" Jones off the streets? How does Fred Dinenage eat his dinner? You will learn the answer to at least one of these questions during this podcast. But you'll wish you hadn't.


EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Jun 24, 2019

We had to cover it someday; infamous nightmare fuel horror in the form of Mr Noseybonk, whose presence in an educational kids' TV show was presumably to make sure they'd rather be at school.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Jun 17, 2019

Nosey busybody Loyd Grossman picks through celebrities' belongings while they're out, simultaneously thinking up pasta sauce recipes whilst trying to sound American. Or British. Which accent is the real one again...?

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Jun 10, 2019

A small hairy troll puts a group of young upstarts through a number of hellish trials under the guise of fulfilling their wishes. It's basically the Apprentice, if Alan Sugar was even more Alan Sugar-y.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Jun 3, 2019

"Because of you, these things I do..."

Don't try to blame your misogyny on us, Jacko from Brush Strokes! We'll have no part of it. Now get back in the kitchen and Flash up those floor tiles.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

May 27, 2019

Keith Barron (not a real Baron) stars in Duty Free, where inexplicably two women are interested in him.

And there's a man with a moustache.

Two men with moustaches.

But where do they sit on the Burt Reynolds spectrum? This is the only podcast that will tell you.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

May 20, 2019

Bread was set in a nightmarish Northern eighties dystopia where a huge family lived in a tiny house and everyone was a miserable con artist and/or failure. It was like Jonny Briggs, but aimed at grown ups. And with a laugh track. HA HA HA HA HAAA MISERY IS FUNNY!

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

May 13, 2019

What do you get when you cross a gruesomely violent movie about a melted monster killing pimps, rapists and drug dealers with a desperate desire to sell action figures to innocent children?

This, obviously.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

May 6, 2019

Part two of the nineties-cartoons-based-on-movies-for-adults trilogy, as we watch Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, which is actually based on Return of the Killer Tomatoes.

But don't worry about the "sauce" (source) material - let's journey back to our salad days and "ketchup" (catch up) with the first episode. In "Heinz-sight" (hindsight) these show notes were a terrible idea...


EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Apr 29, 2019

It's the beginning of another contrived trilogy of episodes as we watch some crap 90s cartoons, starting with one of the worst spin-off ideas ever created - the nephew and/or illegitimate son of a womanising government-payroll killer. At school. With idiots.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Apr 22, 2019

"Viva viva happiness..."

There's no happiness to be found here, as Mark and Martyn put Mr Rossi on in the background and have a moan like the two bitter old men they are these days. Sorry. That's a spoonerism of Rossi. Sort of.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Apr 15, 2019

A wizard from the time of the Normans is magically transported to the present. Well, the past now.

But it was the present back then, and apparently perfectly acceptable for young boys to keep strange men a secret from their parents...

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Apr 8, 2019

Heavily-edited regretful shenanigans this week as Mark and Martyn watch Tickle on the Tum, and Martyn learns the value of thinking before he speaks a little too late.

At least all the Tickle on the Tum fans will be happy though. That last part isn't true.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Apr 1, 2019

A space adventurer, a jungle warrior, a sorcerer and a really strong guy team up with some kids to fight a less ethnically-troublesome version of a space dictator.

Only 206 episodes in and we're finally doing Defenders of the Earth ("Defenders!"), the cartoon that made shared universes cool before anyone was even thinking about shared universes.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Mar 25, 2019

Us: "Any good podcast recommendations?"

Contestant No. 1: "I don't know about podcasts, but I'll whisper sweet nothings into your ears all night
long..."

Contestant No. 2: "I have a true crime podcast, and I'll steal your heart tonight."

Contestant No. 3: "If you like podcasts where two sad men talk about shit old telly interspersed with stories about threadworms, you should listen to When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger."

It's Blind Date. ("BLIND-A DATE-A!")

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Mar 18, 2019

In the early 90s, before we all had pocket computers with instant access to as much pornography as we liked, there was one reliable Saturday afternoon source of slow-motion boobs and bums and OH GOD IT'S HASSELHOFF MY EYES!

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Mar 11, 2019

"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be..." embarrassing myself on national TV.

It's part 2 of our "classic" Saturday night light entertainment lineup, as we watch Stars In Their Eyes; the show where ordinary members of the public walked into some smoke as themselves, and came out as their favourite singers. There is no possible way that could backfire on them 25 years later.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Mar 4, 2019

"Do you feel the power... of the Gladiators?
Do you have the will... and the skill?"

This week we watch Gladiators, a show that combined all the pantomime of British wrestling with all the sporting achievement of British wrestling.

Saturday evening TV never got better than this. A sad indictment of Saturday evening TV.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Feb 25, 2019

"Ranger... Barbarian... Magician... Thief... Cavalier... and Acrobat!"

100 more episodes have gone by, so Mark and Martyn re-revisit the first episode of W4B by re-rewatching the first episode of Dungeons and Dragons. Again. Because they said they would. And they are stupid.

Re-reliving all the fun and adventure of a group of abandoned teenagers hampered in their quest to get home by a small mewling unicorn. For a third time. It's just as good as it sounded both times before.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Feb 18, 2019

Before there was a Spider-Verse... Before the MCU... Before Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield or Tobey Maguire... there was Nicholas Hammond. And he really needed those condensers!

Mark and Martyn celebrate 200 episodes of W4B with a bumper-sized special episode, as they re-watch the first ever live-action Spider-Man, testing '70s special effects (and Nicholas Hammond's trousers) to their
limits.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Feb 11, 2019

All the "will they, won't they" tension of the old Popeye cartoons is destroyed in this sequel series, which reveals Popeye and Olive definitely end up together. Sorry Team Bluto.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Feb 4, 2019

Video game TV shows are like buses. Most of them are shit, and half of them have got Violet Berlin in them.

It's Bad Influence.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Jan 28, 2019

This episode, we learn about the horrors of unnatural reproduction and the joys of songs about reproduction, as we watch Dr Moreau castoffs the Wuzzles and discuss which is the superior Grease movie. It's Grease 2.


EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Jan 21, 2019

"AAAHHHH! AFTER TEN THOUSAND YEARS I'M FREE! TIME TO CONQUER EARTH!"

That's right, we threatened we'd do it, so now sit back and watch everyone's favourite mish-mash of Japanese Super Sentai shows and American teenagers with "attitude." An attitude that's generally pleasant and well-meaning. Edgy.

EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

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