What's the best way to cap off one of the most depressing anxiety-inducing years ever? Watching a load of downtrodden animated first-graders suffering with emotional issues of course!
Happy New Year Charlie Brown, you morose little prick.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Copy this thing you saw a professional do once. Copy it with your Mum or Dad. Oh no, you've done it wrong. Now you look stupid don't you. Now say "CUDDLY TOY!"
Everyone join in, say cuddly toy.
We're not going anywhere until you say it.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
When Happy Days ended, what happened to the Fonz? Did he;
Die in a tragic repeat of his shark-jumping demonstration?
Continue to live above a garage to be sexually available for his best friend's mother?
Time travel with a dog, a magic future woman and two losers?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
Before Jurassic Park, the best animated dinosaurs ever committed to film were in Moschops. I haven't really kept track since then, but Moschops is probably still up there, right?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
Jon Pertwee narrates the adventures of a boy, an alien and an alien's imaginary friend, as we debate whether real things or imaginary things are scarier.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Despite sounding like a badly constructed innuendo pseudonym, Ivor Wood was also a real person, who used second-hand Postman Pat puppets to tell stories about an old lady in the mostly forgotten animated series, Gran.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
In Film Fun, Derek Griffiths dresses up as a sexy lady, and also some other things as well. The best one is the sexy lady though.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
Do you know any songs about Arctic Hares? Derek Griffiths does. I guess that's why Derek got the Heads & Tails job and you didn't.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
Scooby-Doo taught us that evil old white men would dress up as ghosts to embezzle money and scare children. Real life taught us they become politicians instead. Happy Halloween.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
Toys got cartoons all the time in the 80s, so why not a Rubik's cube?
"Because it's just an inanimate puzzle," you probably just said.
Well you're wrong, because it's got a face and feet and magic powers you Rubik's Rube!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
Elephants wear clothes and glasses and talk and everyone's just cool with that for some reason apparently. Still, they have a functioning monarchy so best not to ask too many questions, or Babar will probably have you beheaded.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
It's October so let's watch something scary. Are we watching the news? Ha ha, it's funny because the world is a nightmare. Let's watch Dramarama instead, a classic episode about a haunted mirror or something.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
In space, no-one can hear you scream... so why did Space Ghost spend most of his time screaming his own name into the void?
The cartoon was rubbish, so we look back fondly on the Adult Swim talk show Space Ghost: Coast to Coast instead.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
We finally decided to do Battle of the Planets. Except we didn't. But we did. We didn't though. Although we did watch it.
We didn't.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Who suggested we do Cluedo? It was Mark, in a text message, with the youtube link.
The most boring board game in the world gets an upgrade into the most boring gameshow in the world.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Two fat old men get out of breath, then they watch Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks have a bit of a wrestle.
It's funny because I was talking about us.
Not the wrestlers like you thought.
I'm good at jokes.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Auntie Mabel takes Pippin the dog out in her plane to learn about things, as if Pippin understands or cares. Pippin spends her time remembering what it was like starring in series 1 of Woof! Pippin expects she will be replaced in this as well. Poor Pippin.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
What do you get when you take a duck and some guinea pigs and put them in distress? If you said "sad" you're correct, but another correct answer is the Adventures of Dynamo Duck.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
A very specific selection of usually inanimate objects come to life and live together in a house with partially alive features. But don't worry about that, we have some ideas for better TV shows, and you're going to hear all about them in this episode.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
"Yeeeaaahhhh, RatFans!"
Roland Rat rose to fame on TV-AM, and since then it's become something of a tradition for breakfast TV in the UK to be hosted by vermin.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
We hope there will "bee" a lot of "buzz" about this episode, as we watch the show with a "sting in its tail." So "beehive" yourself and, uh, "pollen" up a chair to join us. It'll "bee" over in "nectar" to no time.
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
America, F*CK YEAH! Time for some patriotic jingoistic nonsense as we watch another animated toy advert and talk about toys we did or didn't have for about half an hour.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Before now, the worst gameshow prize we've come across was some cooked fish. Enter Busman's Holiday. Who wants to go on a holiday where you just do your normal job but in a different place? These losers.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
We finish our High-ology with Degrassi High, a boring Canadian school drama about a boring Canadian school. Boring. Let's
learn about some more of Mark's school traumas and repressed memories instead.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Part two of our High-ology takes us to a world of vampire fonzies, werewolf nerds and undead cheerleaders, being taught by a remarkably unfazed Rick Moranis. Why would you go to school if you were undead?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling