Imagine running the Krypton Factor assault course, but there are hundreds of you, and you take a detour through a dirty lake, and you're being chased by men dressed as monsters while a megalomaniac laughs and taunts you. Also, Craig Charles is watching.
It's Takeshi's Castle.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
It's our fifth anniversary, so we go on a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man... who does not exist. And we don't mean Takeshi's Castle (sorry Richard).
Take a ride with us in everyone's favourite talking car with a teacher's voice, as we watch Knight Rider.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
We finish watching Grease 2 this week, and what better way to celebrate a sequel that regurgitates tired old ideas than recording a podcast that regurgitates tired old jokes and references?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
We've done 250 episodes of When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger, and what better way to celebrate two middle-aged men reliving their childhoods than watching a load of middle-aged men pretending to be high school kids?
It's Grease 2. Part 1.
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WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Take a deep breath and smell that fresh Welsh air.
"Pshhh-ti-cuff, pshhh-ti-cuff, pshhh-ti-cuff!"
No wait, I'm choking on coal fumes. It's Ivor the Engine.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Everyone is hats. Baker is hat. Policeman is hat. Mexican man is hat. Everyone is hats. You will be hat.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Two weirdos solicit drawings from children and sing songs about them, whilst nightmarish and occasionally racist imagery lurks in the background. Yet somehow, fans of this show think Chris Packham is the bad guy...?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
We recorded this episode ages ago and had second thoughts about releasing it. But we've had a break over Christmas, and we're never going to watch Archer's Goon again. So here's Archer's Goon. Archer's the guy who sent the goon, right?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
It's been 30 years since this Tomorrow's World quiz, so we should know all the answers about the gadgets they're talking about, right? Nope, we're too busy taking our jetpacks to work and flying our hoverboards into clocktowers.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Christmas is famous for magic, so we're watching a Paul Daniels Christmas special! Why not crack open the mince pies, throw them in the bin and join us as we witness Paul milking newsreaders, an acrobatic display that goes on forever, and a puppet experiencing existential dismay. Merry Christmas!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Get Up and Go is about a cat from the moon encroaching on Beryl Reid's love life. Aren't you glad you didn't remember it?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Bonjour, and welcome to the surprisingly French Hector's House, a calm and sedate palate cleanser after the horrible hell-born puppets we've endured over the last couple of weeks.
The really important question though; There were ten in the bed and the little one said...?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
More puppets that have crawled straight out of Hell, as this week we watch an episode of Pipkins. Professional rememberers and vox pop idiots will be amazed that we hadn't already covered Pipkins, but having watched it this episode, we wish we still hadn't.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Fred Harris had a mixed history with puppets and dolls. If he wasn't kicking them across TV studios in fits of blooper-baiting rage, he was being haunted by cursed ones in this.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
One woman and two octopus/spider glove puppets show us how to make household rubbish into plain old rubbish.
You can make anything you can imagine out of paper. PaperPlay teaches us that you probably shouldn't bother.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
More second generation gameshow host fun this week as we watch Lingo, hosted by the Evil Orphan Martin Daniels.The Evil Orphan Martin Daniels is a character created by When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger. Please don't confuse him with the real Evil Orphan Martin Daniels, who probably doesn't do the terrible things the character of the Evil Orphan Martin Daniels does.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Do you like remembering where things are on grids and occasionally playing basic computer games with terrible unresponsive 80s joysticks? Then you should go back in time and apply to be a contestant on Steal, as they apparently made it specifically for your unique set of interests. You weirdo.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Clowns are cool again, right? Pennywise is back, in Bill Skarsgård form; Joker's back, in Joaquin Phoenix form; and Zeebo's back, in this-episode-of-When-Wagon-Wheels-Were-Bigger form.
But which clown is the scariest?
It's Tim Curry. The answer is always Tim Curry.
Happy Halloween!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Everyone did an impression of David Bellamy in the 80s. He was famous for his funny voice. I bet you're imagining his voice right now. He wasn't famous for this show though. Or for blowing a bugle.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Winner Takes All was a gambling gameshow about answering trivia whilst betting on the odds of each question. None of that matters though, as our real focus this episode is on the gambles made with Mark's fragile childhood. Who were the winners there? And what did they take? Hopefully not all.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
What would happen if a teenager got bitten by a car on a full moon? Not this I bet.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Do you remember Rod, Jane and Roger? No, no-one does, because much like Queen, this group needed a Freddie to hit the big time. Or at least a Freddy.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Who'd have thought kicking some leather around on a lawn could be so much fun? Not us. Because it's boring. This week we watch everyone's third favourite kids' show about football. No wait... fourth favourite.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Welcome to the dark, dark and confusing world of Funny Bones. Does the sun ever come up? Is the whole world full of skeletons? What does their natural history museum look like? Are we reading too much into a children's cartoon? Haven't you listened to us before?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
How do you get away with saying rude words in front of your parents as a child in the eighties? Watch Flicks with Christopher Lillicrap of course. Then tell them to f*ck off.
EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
W4B theme composed by John Croudy.