Tony Hart could probably kill you with his little finger, but instead he lives the peaceful life of some kind of monk in an extra-dimensional workshop where you're safe from the horrible real world, but modelling clay comes to life occasionally.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Simon brings his nightmarish doodles to life using magic chalk, or otherworldly sorcery on normal chalk, or mind-altering narcotics. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
What do you get when you cross the Pink Windmill kids with Let's Pretend? This shambles about a load of over-enthusiastic stage school adults jumping about and singing whilst using half a dressing-up box.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Alphabet Castle is under siege by the soldiers of Number Castle, and they're pouring boiling oil over the parapets to burn all the Number people whilst battering rams smash through the walls!
Or, someone done a painting of a letter whilst wearing a cardboard crown.
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Budgie is a helicopter with a face whose friends are a load of other vehicles with faces, and nobody wants you to make the comparison to all the other books and TV shows about vehicles with faces, but if you don't do that you have to talk about Sarah Ferguson instead.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Jungle all the way with more jungle fun this week as we watch the Junglies, which is about the jungle and or things that may or may not be from the jungle. Read this out loud and let us know at which point the word jungle lost all meaning.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Did you ever wonder what inspired Bobby Ball to write Juniper Jungle? Of course not, nobody cares about Juniper Jungle!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Thanks to our Australian connections we are now aware of Mr Squiggles, a pencil-nosed monster puppet who draws things upside-down, just like all Australians. Fingers crossed, he might draw a willy with his nose.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Ric is a blue bird who harrasses bearded men or something. Look it's five minutes long, what more do you want from this?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Of all the cartoon dogs with names ending in "owser," Towser is definitely one of them.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Blue Peter was boring and if you liked it you were boring too. Mark Curry was a force for chaos, destroying Lego, wearing wacky suits and riding backwards bikes with reckless abandon. Be thankful for Mark Curry. Both of them. All the Mark Currys. Everywhere.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
This episode was going to be about Home To Roost, but as it's episode 321 we should have made it about 3-2-1. Instead we watched a cartoon about a baby with a ginger mohawk, a spaceship and a robot butler or something.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Dennis Waterman is more than the "write-da-feem-choon-sing-da-feem-choon" caricature Little Britain made him out to be in On The Up, in which the theme tune was... Oh. Never mind.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
This week we're watching Home James, one of the worst things Jim Davidson ever committed to film, including his dressing gown-clad old lady rant in his kitchen. Part one of our tenuous sitcom gingology.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Leaves come to life and have terrifying felt tip faces in Windfalls, a horrible stop-motion TV show that probably didn't even exist.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
We're supposed to be watching Noggin the Nog, but anyone who's listened before knows there's "Norway" we'll stay on topic, especially when Viking Beadle's About...
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
The lighthearted adventures of some mistreated circus animals dealing with bereavement, train crashes and alligator attacks. Cartoons are fun.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
Robotix was a cartoon designed to sell robot toys, and it succeeds... in making us want to buy toys from other robot cartoon toy adverts.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme piano arrangement by Richard L Gill
Haunted puppets of woodland creatures lurk in the darkness throughout Fox Tales, which may or may not be a manifestation of our nightmarish collective consciousness.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
A big green space rabbit and a four-armed duck kidnap a human child to kill toads, and we all went along with it because the theme song was good. Shame on all of us.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
We discover what it probably feels like to go mad as we watch a load of vehicle/animal hybrid abominations living in a weird post-apocalyptic landscape. This should have been called "Car-Pets" and I'm annoyed I only just thought of that.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
We learn all about Umbrella Trees using the internet and our own curiosity, with no thanks to this boring bunch of puppet bastards who nobody's ever heard of.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
A pile of rubbish pretending to be a dog has adventures and there's rubbish everywhere and we're supposed to be ok with all the rubbish everywhere but it's awful and I hate it. What-A-Fucking-Mess indeed.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
The Karate Kid has had two TV spin-offs - one is about searching the globe for a magic shrine or something, and the other is just about middle-aged men remembering the 80s. Why would anyone watch or listen to the second one?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
A polar bear and a girl try on some coats and nobody asks any questions. It would be perfectly reasonable to ask why she has a polar bear with her. Or even why the polar bear is trying on coats. But nobody does.
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WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com
W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling