A wizard from the time of the Normans is magically transported to the present. Well, the past now.
But it was the present back then, and apparently perfectly acceptable for young boys to keep strange men a secret from their parents...
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Heavily-edited regretful shenanigans this week as Mark and Martyn watch Tickle on the Tum, and Martyn learns the value of thinking before he speaks a little too late.
At least all the Tickle on the Tum fans will be happy though. That last part isn't true.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
A space adventurer, a jungle warrior, a sorcerer and a really strong guy team up with some kids to fight a less ethnically-troublesome version of a space dictator.
Only 206 episodes in and we're finally doing Defenders of the Earth ("Defenders!"), the cartoon that made shared universes cool before anyone was even thinking about shared universes.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Us: "Any good podcast recommendations?"
Contestant No. 1: "I don't know about podcasts, but I'll whisper sweet nothings into your ears all night
long..."
Contestant No. 2: "I have a true crime podcast, and I'll steal your heart tonight."
Contestant No. 3: "If you like podcasts where two sad men talk about shit old telly interspersed with stories about threadworms, you should listen to When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger."
It's Blind Date. ("BLIND-A DATE-A!")
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
In the early 90s, before we all had pocket computers with instant access to as much pornography as we liked, there was one reliable Saturday afternoon source of slow-motion boobs and bums and OH GOD IT'S HASSELHOFF MY EYES!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be..." embarrassing myself on national TV.
It's part 2 of our "classic" Saturday night light entertainment lineup, as we watch Stars In Their Eyes; the show where ordinary members of the public walked into some smoke as themselves, and came out as their favourite singers. There is no possible way that could backfire on them 25 years later.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Do you feel the power... of the Gladiators?
Do you have the will... and the skill?"
This week we watch Gladiators, a show that combined all the pantomime of British wrestling with all the sporting achievement of British wrestling.
Saturday evening TV never got better than this. A sad indictment of Saturday evening TV.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Ranger... Barbarian... Magician... Thief... Cavalier... and Acrobat!"
100 more episodes have gone by, so Mark and Martyn re-revisit the first episode of W4B by re-rewatching the first episode of Dungeons and Dragons. Again. Because they said they would. And they are stupid.
Re-reliving all the fun and adventure of a group of abandoned teenagers hampered in their quest to get home by a small mewling unicorn. For a third time. It's just as good as it sounded both times before.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Before there was a Spider-Verse... Before the MCU... Before Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield or Tobey Maguire... there was Nicholas Hammond. And he really needed those condensers!
Mark and Martyn celebrate 200 episodes of W4B with a bumper-sized special episode, as they re-watch the first ever live-action Spider-Man, testing '70s special effects (and Nicholas Hammond's trousers) to their
limits.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
All the "will they, won't they" tension of the old Popeye cartoons is destroyed in this sequel series, which reveals Popeye and Olive definitely end up together. Sorry Team Bluto.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Video game TV shows are like buses. Most of them are shit, and half of them have got Violet Berlin in them.
It's Bad Influence.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
This episode, we learn about the horrors of unnatural reproduction and the joys of songs about reproduction, as we watch Dr Moreau castoffs the Wuzzles and discuss which is the superior Grease movie. It's Grease 2.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"AAAHHHH! AFTER TEN THOUSAND YEARS I'M FREE! TIME TO CONQUER EARTH!"
That's right, we threatened we'd do it, so now sit back and watch everyone's favourite mish-mash of Japanese Super Sentai shows and American teenagers with "attitude." An attitude that's generally pleasant and well-meaning. Edgy.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Bruce Forsyth narrates the confusing story of the Fiddley Foodle Bim Bam Boodle Diddley Doodle Oodle Bird.
Or "Dennis Waterman" for short.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
TV Legend Richard Whiteley presents Channel 4's first ever TV show, as your W4B hosts reminisce about one of their favourite people whilst trying to make sense of letters and numbers like a couple of squares. I bet they wear their backpacks on both shoulders as well.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Is there a better way to welcome a new year than by watching a drunken butler trip over a tiger rug? If there is I don't want to hear about it. Because I watched this instead and I'm already depressed enough.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
It's the W4B Christmas episode, so we're watching the Christmassyest thing from the 80s we could find on a quick Google search. Merry Christmas from Eternia, as we join musclebound sword-wielding twins Adam and Adora as they fight Skeletor and Hordak, except in the snow. And for a longer amount of time than usual.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Wowser is an anime about a clumsy Belgian dog that you've probably never heard of. We have though, so why should we suffer alone?
This episode also includes some bonus nostalgia for foreign language songs we barely remember, so don't say we don't give you anything.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Pole Position is about stunt-driving crime-fighters, and may or may not have been based on a video game, I'm not sure, you have access to Wikipedia, why don't you find out yourself?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
This week we're packing our trunks and saying goodbye to the circus, as we watch Nellie The Elephant and curse the continuous failure of our Skype connection. You should be used to this by now.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Hallmark mascot Rainbow Brite is another character given a cartoon that was primarily aimed at girls in the 80s. The plot inevitably revolves around bringing colour and light to a dark world, or fighting a monochrome villain who hates happiness or whatever. We couldn't tell you, we were barely paying attention.
If the reboot gains a lot of adult male fans, I think they should be called "Rain-Bros."
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TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Roll up and role up; Mark and Martyn continue their search for the Warlock's treasure, as they prove it's possible to literally get lost in a book.
May their stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: 8-Bit Scrap! by HeatleyBros
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Postman Pat was good wasn't it? Bertha was excellent, I think we can all agree.
This week we watched Charlie Chalk. Oh well.
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FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Your W4B hosts Mark and Martyn choose their own adventure in the first episode of this new series, fighting goblins, orcs and their urge to set fire to straw mattresses, as they begin a playthrough of the first Fighting Fantasy adventure book, the Warlock of Firetop Mountain.
May their stamina never fail!
Campaign on Dice is not affiliated with Fighting Fantasy.
Theme Music: 8-Bit Scrap! by HeatleyBros
EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
Allsorts is an awful cut-price Rainbow wannabe, except instead of puppets there are simple men, and instead of a bear there's a human-dog hybrid straight out of your nightmares.
EMAIL: ifyoulikewagonwheels@outlook.com
TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger
W4B theme composed by John Croudy.