It's nearly Halloween, so what better way to celebrate than with a rubbish sitcom about the ghost of a Jewish stereotype? Probably by watching almost literally anything else. But it's done now, so shut up.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Do you like television? Do you like comics? Then you'll hate ZZZap, the television comic.
It's the final part of our Neil Buchanan trilogy. Or "Neil-ogy." No, sorry, was right the first time, it's "trilogy."
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
How much confetti do you think Finders Keepers used in an average day? More than FunHouse? More than ten weddings?
It's a lot of confetti is what I'm saying.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"This is an Art Attack... THIS is an Art Attack... THIS IS ART ATTACK!"
Tiny Neil Buchanan lives in a box of art supplies and communicates to the big people via the medium of Art. And attacking.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Can I buy a vowel?"
"No, because the idea of the game is to guess the words with only the consonants. You fool."
It's Wheel Of Fortune.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
The adventures of C.H.I.P. (Coordinated Hexadecimal Information Processor), S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A. (Solar Activated Micro Automated Non-inTerference Hearing Apparatus) and B.U.G. (Binary Unmanned Gamma camera).
What a load of C.R.A.P. (Completely Rubbish Awful Programme)
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Five.... Four.... Three... Two.... One.... Thunderbirds are go!"
Lady Penelope: "Parker? Please take off my blouse..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, please take off my skirt..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, please take off my stockings..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, please take off my brassiere..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, please take off my knickers..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "And Parker..."
Parker: "Yus M'Lady."
Lady Penelope: "...if I catch you wearing my clothes again you're sacked."
Good joke. Everybody laugh.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Bitsa this, Bitsa that, put it all together and what have you got?"
A ropey make-along-at-home programme where boxes of old rubbish are turned into soon-to-be new rubbish that looks slightly different.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
So there's this cat, see, and his name's James, see, and there are all these other animals, see, and that's all there is to it, see.
And it's quite short, see.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Who likes Yellow Submarine? Anyone? Oh. Well this is a bit like that. With an arguably better theme song.
That's right. I went there.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
What do you get when you cross an educational kids' show about music with inappropriate sexist YouTube comments? A musical ex-tra-va-ganza, that's what.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Brum Brum, Brum Brum Brum, Brum Brum Brum Brum Brum..."
It's Brum.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
You know what I used to love? Batfink.
You know what turned out to be super racist? Batfink.
Because of course it did.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
All aspiring cartoonists should watch Rude Dog and the Dweebs, as inspirational evidence that you don't need artistic talent to get a cartoon made. A clothing logo and some of the worst designed cartoon dogs ever had their own TV show. And we watched it.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Visionaries, Knights of the magical light!"
Remember when toys were covered in holograms? That was good wasn't it? I bet all those hologram stickers have faded now and don't look half as cool any more. That's like a metaphor. A clever metaphor. I done a metaphor.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
What's the best time to watch the Krankies' Christmas special?
a) Christmas Eve
b) Christmas Day
c) July
The correct answer is that you should never watch the Krankies do anything at any time ever.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
The sad news of Brian Cant couldn't be ignored, and we'd already done Trumpton, so we watched Bric A Brac and celebrated some of his brilliance. But just because the man was great doesn't mean we'll go easy on the show... or that we'll even necessarily pay attention.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
To me. To you. To me then. To you then. To me. To you. Copy. Paste. Done.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Centurion
/sɛnˈtjʊərɪən/
noun
1) The commander of a century in the ancient Roman army.
2) A man covered in pegs onto which aeroplane, boat or motorbike parts can be affixed in order to fight the forces of evil.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
A drama series about a newspaper run by teenagers? Sounds boring right? Right. That is absolutely correct.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
This week Mark and Martyn watched Dooby's Duck Truck. I refuse to write a proper blurb for this. Because it's Dooby's Duck Truck. What have we become...?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Two primates have some fun "monkeying about" and probably learn a lesson or two along the way. Then they watch Bangers and Mash, a cartoon about naughty chimps.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Not a Prison Break spin-off, or a lesson in bad sportsmanship in first person shooters. Not even an account of a dubious sexual practice. Just the simple story of a young girl fighting an evil witch who lives in a magical teapot with (or without) the help of a little boy who is (or isn't) the witch's assistant. Or whatever.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
White expressionless hippo people have vaguely creepy adventures in the animated atrocity that is the Moomins. That's all I have to say about that.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
"Rosie and Jim, Rosie and Jim,
Chugging along on the old Ragdoll..."
Mark and Martyn settle down to watch the Annabelle/The Conjuring prequel Rosie and Jim, about two sort-of-alive dolls who probably have some kind of murderous intent. Because they always do.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.