Want to jazz up some bible stories a bit? Just give everything two heads, and make everything that isn't usually alive, alive. And keep them under 5 minutes, that'll help as well.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
There were several elephant-based kids' shows in the 80s and 90s. This is one of them.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We finish our trilogy of cartoons based on films that weren't made for children, by watching Police Academy the Animated Series, because nothing sells action figures like jokes about sexual harrassment and homophobia.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We continue our trilogy of cartoons based on films that weren't made for children, by watching Robocop the Animated Series, because nothing sells action figures like the reanimated corpse of a mutilated police officer.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We start a trilogy of cartoons based on films that weren't made for children, by watching Rambo: The Force of Freedom, because nothing sells action figures like post-traumatic stress disorder.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We watch some more old ads to reminisce about how spoiled we were when we were kids, and look at loads of toys we probably ended up owning because we cried about them.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We watch some old ads to reminisce about chocolate we used to eat and wish we were still eating. Why aren't we eating chocolate right now? To be honest, one of us probably is...
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Elephants wear clothes and glasses and talk and everyone's just cool with that for some reason apparently. Still, they have a functioning monarchy so best not to ask too many questions or Babar will probably have you beheaded.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
That's right, we threatened we'd do it, so now sit back and watch everyone's favourite mish-mash of Japanese Super Sentai shows and American teenagers with "attitude." An attitude that's generally pleasant and well-meaning. Edgy.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Is there a better way to welcome a new year than by watching a drunken butler trip over a tiger rug? If there is I don't want to hear about it. Because I watched this and I'm already depressed enough.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Allsorts is an awful cut-price Rainbow wannabe, except instead of puppets there are simple men, and instead of a bear there's a human-dog hybrid straight out of your nightmares.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Dodo likes to rhyme whilst speaking, if irritation's what you're seeking.
His alien race resembles pixies, like the ones on your Rice Krispies.
He also has a robot chicken, whose face and beak I'd like to kick in.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
The Animal Kwackers look like a group of bank robbers who went to a fancy dress shop that was going out of business. Or a Banana Splits tribute act who hated the Banana Splits. Or the physical embodiment of some lost lyrics from "I am the Walrus."
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
If you Google Sir Prancealot you'll probably get a load of boring statistics about a racehorse, but that's still more entertaining than this cartoon.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Round 3... FIGHT! We finish our fighting game trilogy with the Mortal Kombat animated series, presumably made for all the kids who weren't allowed to play the gory games, but did anyway.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We continue our fighting game trilogy with the animated spin-off of a side-scrolling arcade beat-em-up. But why does this cartoon feel like it takes twice as long to watch? Because it's Double Drag-on!
This is the best I could come up with, leave me alone.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We're digging out our 50ps and stacking them up on the arcade cabinet, as we watch the Street Fighter animated series. It's not in our usual time frame, but when asked if we could do it we decided "SURE-YOU-CAN!"
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Some nosey kids investigate a spy operation in a castle instead of just calling the appropriate authorities, in predictably boring Enid Blyton fashion.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Fourways Farm is a stop-motion animation about talking animals voiced by Martin Jarvis. Not that we can hear him in this version. Or see much of the episode. Or care.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Des O'Connor forbids the explicit use of positive and negative replies then tries to buy keys from people to stop them opening boxes full of cucumbers. He also made Take Your Pick.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Tiny dolls have a tiny adventure in this tiny episode, where we watch yet another show about toys that come to life. If Toy Story had been set in the UK in the 1980s, there would have been a lot more haunted and/or racist dolls in it.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
This probably isn't the Barney you're thinking of. But that's your problem.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
If you inherit a load of creepy old dolls, should you;
a) play with them,
b) display them proudly, or
c) never turn your back on them, don't even blink, burn them, burn them all and scatter the ashes as far apart as possible...?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Nerys Hughes is obsessed with alligators.
"See you later alligator," she would say when waving goodbye.
But if you replied with "in a while, crocodile," she would get angry.
She used to make people say "in a while, alligator" instead.
It doesn't even rhyme.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Imagine Rod, Jane and Freddy, but Scottish, and with more kettles. That's this.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill