Allsorts is an awful cut-price Rainbow wannabe, except instead of puppets there are simple men, and instead of a bear there's a human-dog hybrid straight out of your nightmares.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Dodo likes to rhyme whilst speaking, if irritation's what you're seeking.
His alien race resembles pixies, like the ones on your Rice Krispies.
He also has a robot chicken, whose face and beak I'd like to kick in.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
The Animal Kwackers look like a group of bank robbers who went to a fancy dress shop that was going out of business. Or a Banana Splits tribute act who hated the Banana Splits. Or the physical embodiment of some lost lyrics from "I am the Walrus."
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
If you Google Sir Prancealot you'll probably get a load of boring statistics about a racehorse, but that's still more entertaining than this cartoon.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Round 3... FIGHT! We finish our fighting game trilogy with the Mortal Kombat animated series, presumably made for all the kids who weren't allowed to play the gory games, but did anyway.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We continue our fighting game trilogy with the animated spin-off of a side-scrolling arcade beat-em-up. But why does this cartoon feel like it takes twice as long to watch? Because it's Double Drag-on!
This is the best I could come up with, leave me alone.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We're digging out our 50ps and stacking them up on the arcade cabinet, as we watch the Street Fighter animated series. It's not in our usual time frame, but when asked if we could do it we decided "SURE-YOU-CAN!"
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Some nosey kids investigate a spy operation in a castle instead of just calling the appropriate authorities, in predictably boring Enid Blyton fashion.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Fourways Farm is a stop-motion animation about talking animals voiced by Martin Jarvis. Not that we can hear him in this version. Or see much of the episode. Or care.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Des O'Connor forbids the explicit use of positive and negative replies then tries to buy keys from people to stop them opening boxes full of cucumbers. He also made Take Your Pick.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Tiny dolls have a tiny adventure in this tiny episode, where we watch yet another show about toys that come to life. If Toy Story had been set in the UK in the 1980s, there would have been a lot more haunted and/or racist dolls in it.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
This probably isn't the Barney you're thinking of. But that's your problem.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
If you inherit a load of creepy old dolls, should you;
a) play with them,
b) display them proudly, or
c) never turn your back on them, don't even blink, burn them, burn them all and scatter the ashes as far apart as possible...?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Nerys Hughes is obsessed with alligators.
"See you later alligator," she would say when waving goodbye.
But if you replied with "in a while, crocodile," she would get angry.
She used to make people say "in a while, alligator" instead.
It doesn't even rhyme.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Imagine Rod, Jane and Freddy, but Scottish, and with more kettles. That's this.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
The world's laziest animators film themselves waggling a Hairy Jeremy around. Willy joke, everyone laugh.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
We love a good gameshow on this podcast, but we've done all those, so we watched Runway instead.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
A Dutch owl puppet reads made up stories from a newspaper in the creepy-pasta-waiting-to-happen, The Daily Fable.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Years before the disaster-based trauma of Thunderbirds, or the Zelda-based trauma of Terrahawks, Gerry Anderson set out to traumatise children with the sleepy-eyed hunchbacked puppets of Torchy the Battery Boy.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
After more than 400 episodes, we're getting nostalgic for our own nostalgia. So we decided to face the horror of our own mortality, as all the skin falls off our faces and our skulls disintegrate. We also watch Knightmare again. "Oh dear..."
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Remember Spatz? Well this is that, except with ice cream. If you don't remember Spatz, we envy you.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
"Ranger... Barbarian... Magician... Thief... Cavalier... and Acrobat!"
100 more episodes have gone by, so Mark and Martyn re-re-re-revisit the first episode of blah blah blah you know the drill.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Nice to see 400 episodes, to see 400 episodes, NICE! We thought we'd celebrate with a GOOD GAME, GOOD GAME, but we ended up watching the Generation Game instead.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Maths was much more exciting in the 80s, when mental space wizards would magically appear and threaten kids with knives until they learned how to maths. Luckily there was a documentary film crew on hand making Maths-In-A-Box to prove I'm not a liar.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
Nightmare marionette antics with Mumfie, a horrible puppet elephant who hangs around with other horrible puppets, including witches, scarecrows and sometimes TV and radio broadcasting legends.
W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Additional musical contributions by R Gill
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