A very specific selection of usually inanimate objects come to life and live together in a house with partially alive features. But don't worry about that, we have some ideas for better TV shows, and you're going to hear all about them in this episode.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
"Yeeeaaahhhh, RatFans!"
Roland Rat rose to fame on TV-AM, and since then it's become something of a tradition for breakfast TV in the UK to be hosted by vermin.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
We hope there will "bee" a lot of "buzz" about this episode, as we watch the show with a "sting in its tail." So "beehive" yourself and, uh, "pollen" up a chair to join us. It'll "bee" over in "nectar" to no time.
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
America, F*CK YEAH! Time for some patriotic jingoistic nonsense as we watch another animated toy advert and talk about toys we did or didn't have for about half an hour.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Before now, the worst gameshow prize we've come across was some cooked fish. Enter Busman's Holiday. Who wants to go on a holiday where you just do your normal job but in a different place? These losers.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
We finish our High-ology with Degrassi High, a boring Canadian school drama about a boring Canadian school. Boring. Let's
learn about some more of Mark's school traumas and repressed memories instead.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Part two of our High-ology takes us to a world of vampire fonzies, werewolf nerds and undead cheerleaders, being taught by a remarkably unfazed Rick Moranis. Why would you go to school if you were undead?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
It's part one of the High-ology, which is a real thing, and we kick off with Galaxy High, the high school which is in a galaxy. Like all high schools.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
Astro Farm combines asteroids and farms in an acceptable order and ratio.
Drop a farm on an asteroid, and you get a light-hearted animated series for children to enjoy.
Drop an asteroid on a farm, and you get a tragedy.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
What do you get when you cross Catchphrase with that game where you match pairs of cards? Matchphrase? No, it's Concentration you idiot, although that was a good and clever guess.
Perhaps the only gameshow where a creepy plastic robo-host offered cooked fish as a prize. That'll be niiiiiccce.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
80s teenagers mash buttons frantically in First Class, the show hipsters will say they prefer to Gamesmaster. Are hipsters still a thing?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
Four Square is a gameshow that nobody has ever watched. It is about squares. At least four of them I bet.
Writing show notes is hard sometimes.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
Turnabout is the best thing Rob Curling has ever done. Better than presenting sports news on Sky News, better than motivationally speaking as a motivational speaker, better than anything else I find out about him in this Google search I just did.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
"Nobody tells me what to do, no not me..."
Ah Pugwall, Australia's own rebel without a plot. Mark and Martyn revisit the summer holiday time slot filler about a 13 year old boy and his boring family and friends. In the summer - when they go to Japan for some reason. There's racism and disappointment - this is still the most Australian TV show ever made.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy
W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling
"Thesp... build me a borg!" shouted Craig Charles, as he awaited the arrival of a blocky virtual reality avatar. But it never arrived. Was there something wrong with Thesp? Were the borgs broken? Or was he just in the B&Q car park again, being all confused?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Mentioned briefly during our David comma The Gnome episode, Trans World Sport was the program you had to sit through on a weekend morning before kids' tv started. Not good kids' tv though.
At least you would learn about sports from around the world. Not good sports though. We were just too lazy to go outside and play. Or even change the channel.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
We finish our Gnome-ology with the first episode of the Smurfs, the smurfiest pile of old smurf we've ever had to smurf.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Who is your favourite Tom Bosley character? Whatever you just said is wrong, because it's actually David comma The Gnome, the tiny sadistic veterinarian who could easily sneak into your house and kill you because he is stronger than 7 men. Luckily for you he prefers hurting animals, but we all know it's only a matter of time...
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Noddy. The little gnome in the red and yellow car.
Shakey. A nickname for Shakin' Stevens.
It's the first episode in our gnome-ology, as we start looking at shows about gnomes for some reason. And at least this is the least racist version of Noddy. Probably.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
This is a gameshow for pre-schoolers and the questions are easy and boring, so Mark comes up with some more challenging ones instead.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
Pat Coombs roams the countryside with a haunted doll, evading the paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren from out of the Conjuring movies and also real life. They are good at evading the Warrens because you don't see them or hear about them at all in this episode, but they are definitely pursuing Pat and the doll nonetheless.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
We haven't done a gameshow for a while, so let's do a gameshow. Which gameshow shall we do? Lucky Ladders with Lennie Bennett? Why not? How do you play Lucky Ladders? Who cares, we're barely paying attention anyway. Sorry, Lucky Ladders fans. Or Lennie Bennett fans.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
A man tries to paint everything blue, but a panther intervenes and covers the walls with pink paint, instead of the man's blood, which is what would really happen if a panther was on the loose. Yet somehow, the second option seems preferable.
Well here he is, the pink panther,
The rinky-dink panther,
Isn't he a panther ever so pink?
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
A show that epitomises all the worst elements of any "forgotten kids' show" creepypasta, Cloppa Castle definitely didn't exist, apart from in your nightmares. And now in ours.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.
We thought we'd covered all the shows full of haunted raggedy puppets that inhabited our childhoods, but it turns out there's always another haunted raggedy puppet show lurking just around the corner.
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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.